These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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