you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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