I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it because I queefed?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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