Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This girl is more easily done than said...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Randomize