i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
