I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
