Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
