I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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