We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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