You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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