the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
