bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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