I'm pants shitting drunk right now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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