yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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