take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
