So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
