Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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