He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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