sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
