Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
