used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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