I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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