I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
this will be a night to untag.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
