butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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