I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
