I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am mentally ready for anal.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize