Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
