guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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