my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
