I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
