I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
a search helicopter?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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