I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
