She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
