She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
