somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
