Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
