You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
