Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
