I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
