well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
