I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis