I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.