Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
