I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
