I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
