I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
