i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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