physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
