To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
