Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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