U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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