oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Two words: blizzard sex
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