bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
