WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
