How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
then he tried to convert me to islam
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
