i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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