i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
