So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
