brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
