I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
