You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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