If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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