In the future we'll all be gay
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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