I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
