I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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